Pain can be used as a tool of focus. So I found out today as I was sitting in Stake Confernce and trying not to fidget too much on my butt cushion - yes, I brought one. Honestly, tell me one person who likes sitting on a metal chair for two hours straight? Recent biopsy's make sitting for a long time a painful deal, and I found myself being negative altogether and finding it hard to focus. All three talks so far had been about family. Why do they always talk about families? I found myself thinking. Don't they know there are youth and single adults who don't have families of their own yet? So, I admittedly tuned out and distracted myself with the cute baby sitting next to me. But then guilt starting setting in, and the pain intensified, and I had a sudden thought. WHat if I could focus on what was being said instead of the pain? Would that help?
Just then something President Uchtdorf said caught my attention: "Satan stops us from using our time wisely and setting and reaching realistic goals." I've known that tv, internet, texting, pornography, movies - technology in general, really, can be some of these tools, but I'd never really thought about how he can use of those things to take the time we could be using to accomplish goals. No wonder families are destroyed and so much evil replaces it.
He went on to say, "Families need to set spiritual goals." This too made me think. You always hear families should read and pray together, have FHE, etc, but I think a lot of us look at those of things that we should do, instead of goals to set and acheive. Setting goals can make it, well, I would argue, better. How much better do you feel knowing you set out to accomplish something and you do? The real reward is that feeling of accomplishment.
So, let's say you set a goal to have your family complete the Book of Mormon by the end of summer, and if you do, you all get to go to Disneyland just before school starts. Have the kids have a goal to read as much as they can in fifteen minutes a day, and whoever reads the most at the end of each month gets a certain privilege. Ah...maybe that's too much of the competitive nature in me, and some would argue it as bribery, but much of the world works this way. Go to school? You get to graduate and go to college. You go to college? You get a better job. A better job? You get cars, homes, a way to provide for your family, etc. And those are all for good causes, and all good goals to set and achieve. A means to an end, and that end hopefully being happiness. I think that's what Heavenly Father wants us to have by setting goals.
Anyway, I started thinking of what goals I wanted to have for my future family. FHE every week no matter if it always can't be on Monday. I want my kids to be involved in as many things as possible without it outbalancing anything - things to discover their talents, passions, and skills. Family prayer and scripture study each night, and prayer and scripture study as a couple, then of course on our own. Seems like a lot of time, right? Well, split up between morning and night, and once become a habit, not as difficult as it seems.
The blessings promised are well worth it anyway. Some President Uchtdorf included were strength, spiritual power, aide with focusing on our priorities, and peace not only in our individual lives, but our families, community, and ultimately the world. What more could our world use than peace at this time?
Others? Definitely a date night a week with my hubby, one a month being a temple night date (a temple recommend and attendance was included as one of the three things President Uchtdorf said we need to do to rekindle our conversion). Traveling together as a family every summer. Going to some sort of event twice a month as a family, for example a sports game, a concert, a play, something cultural and enlightening you know? Movies are ok but meh, gotta mix it up a bit. I also want my husband to take our daughters out on daddy daughter dates and our sons on "boys weekend", camping trips, stuff like that. I too, of course, want to have individual time with each of the kids too. Favoritism must not exist. Of course, these aren't all set it stone. These are goals I want to set and decide with my husband - together.
Even with all this goal setting, it's not a reality to think no evil will come or life won't still have its trials and difficulties. So, you have to have a plan to avoid evil when the choice is yours to. You can't just say, "Ok well I'm not gonna do something." You have to plan things to avoid whatever your weakness is, and also what to do when you come face to face with it. Setting and acheiving goals will give you the desire and strength to combat it all. There's no therapist or magic voodoo power that can do any better.
Another thing President Uchtdorf said was that our families, especially our spouse, need to see and hear our testimony, to strengthen one another to grow in more love one with another. For me, I totally agree with this. There are very few things more attractive to me then a guy who is spiritually strong. When they bear their testimonies in Church, give a talk, teach a lesson - all only made better by a white shirt n tie with the sleeves rolled up lol, I find them preeetttyyy irresisitable. At any rate, setting that couples prayer and reading goal is a great way to accomplish this. Being able to teach my children and bear testimony is one of the few joys in this life I still have to look forward to, and I believe it will help home be a safe haven for them.
I was thinking about that old cheesy video our youth leaders would show us in Sunday School. You know, the video that flashes back and forth between present day (early 90's back then) and olden times with soldiers at a battle camp. You see these kids in 80's clothes at a party, and as the kid gets closer and closer to making bad decisions, the soldiers remove more and more armor and become more and more careless and unaware of the enemy lying in wait in the trees. They flash back and show one kid who goes into a room with alcohol and a girl, and how, as a soldier, he gets killed by arrows from these enemies lying in wait. Then you've got the Captain Moroni type kid who is aware, keeps his armor on, and not only lives himself, but kills all the other enemies and saves the rest of his army.
That's kind of how I see this goal setting and accomplishing. You protect yourself, your family, and those around you in ways no one else can. Moral of the story? Grateful for pain today. :)
