Teaching a Sunday School Lesson and Relief Soceity Lesson on top of attending a Relief Soceity President traning all in one day, all whilst under the influence of pain medication is a feat I wish upon no person. I don't really remember what I taught, and I'm hoping that's because my endless supplication for the Spirit to help me teach, and not because of the drugs. I THINK it was the first and not the latter because of all the great compliments and thank you's I got for the lessons, so my eternal salvation seems to be alright for now, thanks to the Lord.
What I do remember from the Sunday School lesson was talking about God's law being written upon our hearts, and me comparing those little sweetheart candies with Valentine messages to OUR hearts, saying that we should have the words "God's Law" written on them instead. (Cheesy but genius right?! =D haha.) I quickly added that it was completely alright and neccessary for our spouses to have part of that heart and that God's law could be central being that I was teaching to bunch of LDS Singles and a branch presidency and their wives. After some smiles and chuckles my Branch President raised his hand and said, "That right there is the reason my wife was so attractive to me and why I married her. Because God's law was and is written on her heart."
My immediate thought, which actually caused a delay in my response to his comment was, "What ever happened to men who think like that?!" Men who desire women who live their lives with hearts and eye single to the glory of God? Any guy out there reading this will say, "Oh please sister, get off your soapbox and quit being so bitter, it's not all about the looks", but looking at the statistics and lots of married and divorced friends of mine, those men seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth.
I've found in my 27 years of experience with men - no, boys, that the more spiritual, educated, confident, and independent a woman is, the more quickly they tuck their tail between their legs and run. As my best friend's grandfather would say, "You gotta find a guy that isn't afraid of his own ass."
I mean, think about it. In 30 years I will be wrinkly and gray and my looks will be gone. So what will be left and what will matter when I'm seeking to continue to raise a righteous family and have a relationship with my husband that needs to last for ETERNITY?? Certainly not how "HOT" I am or how much I put out. We'll be resurrected and have "perfect bodies",right? (And I certainly hope we're all ok with whatever God's idea of perfect is), so why does it have to be perfect now? Why do so many girls kill themselves at the gym, eat hardly anything, and spend loads of times and money on how they look when we're all supposed to live our lives with an eternal perspective?
Even 20 years from now it won't matter how good I look in a bikini, but whether or not my husband feels he can tell me anything and talk about everything with open honesty despite both of our faults and weaknesses. What type of testimony I'm instilling in my children, and continuing to strengthen individually and as a couple. ETC, ETC, ETC... *sigh*
My roommate and I joke that I'm going to adopt an adorable African baby and name him Francois, but as time goes on I'm starting to think that sounds a whole lot better than having to spend my life trying to match up to the physical aspects guys want instead of doing what I've been taught: to better my personality, and better myself spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and personality...y..in prepartion.for marriage and motherhood and JOY in eternal life.
Now don't get me wrong. I am NOT saying ALL guys are like this, OR that there are some girls who fit this mold too. Anyone who knows me knows that I've mostly had all guy friends my whole life, and there are many of them who are married and fantastic husbands and fathers, married to the types of women guys should want. I also very firmly believe you HAVE to have chemistry, attraction, butterflies, heart flutters, etc, with the person you want to marry. NOR am I saying that all the guys in this world need to go and marry a very spiritual but ugly Ogre.
But when a guy wants a date, and is weighing the possibilities, the likelihood of him sitting there thinking which girl has the better personality, who's the better person, or, "Wow she's got an amazing testimony" isn't what's on their mind - it's who's the nicest to look at; who will make them feel like a man, who won't overshadow them or make them feel guilty or insecure, but who will make them feel macho. My roommate calls them "the ball-less wonders" - guys who aren't insecure or intimidated by someone who will challenge or match them in those good Godly ways.
It seems spirituality, once thought as "hot" or attractive, has been replaced by the Stepford Wives...maybe the second coming is a whole lot closer than I thought. Or maybe I need to not blog on pain medication :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Chicken Pecking and Cartels
Typing this all with my left fingers will be a special unseen treat for all of you. Bitterness aside, a few weeks ago I had the opportunity...no, let me back up. I, for some CRAZY reason, decided I'd join the PE department in Vegas for their CTE training and workshops instead of staying and working in my classroom for a staff development day.Besides factoring in the major hotties bound to be there, I'm a coach and I minored in PE in college so it worked. What I wasn't expecting was coming away from it scarred in every way possible - and feeling completely sheltered.
Our second workshop choice? Mexican Drug Cartels. "What the crap does THAT kind of workshop have to do with being a PE/Health teacher?" is the question I'm sure you're all thinking. Don't worry, I asked the same one. But as I walked out the door of the high school that day, I was almost mad and afraid for those who didn't get to go to it.
After listening to a session led by a member of the LV Drug Force who coulda snapped me in half with his little finger (while successfully wrapping my friend around it in the process), I left the session having seen a beheading, brains on the ground from a shoot out, heads and limbs draped in trees around and on top of an ATM machine, and a number of other shocking images. Granted, they had a full disclosure and warning about such graphic images, but that didn't soften the blow any. How is it that there are 13 drug cartels in CCSD and I was oblivious to it?
On a positive note, I did leave armed with the knowledge that my students who had any John Deer, White Scorpion, or Ferrari symbols on their clothing, body, or cars belonged to one of the 13 drug cartels prominent in Vegas - but it was more unnerving than comforting. I left that session only to have an African American Las Vegas Metro Cop preach/yell in my face about the other gangs in Las Vegas and how his son stabbed his leather couch to death, weaved with more disturbing images like the video from the Columbine shooting and other school shootings, then ending with listening to an eightish year old kid calmly confess to shooting his father to death and that a teacher had shot himself in the head for receiving a bad evaluation just the day before. What was going on?! Then, last but not least, onto the last session to listen to a woman say "bodily opening" and "penetration" repetitvely in a sexual assault class.
Why we didn't go to the dance classes or nutrition for teens is beyond me, but somehow I left glad I hadn't! Call me sick or think what you will, but how many times has ignorance and being oblivious led to terrible things? What bothered me most was how sheltered I felt. I've spent my whole life making fun of Utahrds and dealing with no-brain Molly Mormons who are the epitomy of sheltered. And there I was, a small town Nevadan who served a mission in the murder capitol of the world, feeling exposed to "the real world". It took me a full 32 hours to feel the shock leave my body completely and to realize this hypocrisy and reality. Why do people like parents, the government, even religions, shelter those they are over? Is ignorance really bliss? Then why is knowledge power? Cleave unto every good thing, right? But does that mean you shouldn't be knowledgeable about the world you live in?
Just last week one of the nicest boys in my class was suspended for having gang related material in his backpack, a gang I would've never heard of had I not gone to this workshop. I find the most ignorant people on this planet never watch or read the news or have any idea of what's going on in the world, yet they, whoever "they" is, says that we're better off that way. So does the soceity in the book I'm reading with my freshmen, Fahrenheit 451, a soceity closely modeled after Hitler's Nazi Germany. And look what happened to them.
Yes, I was in shock, and yes, I felt scarred, but what do I feel now? Empowered, and somehow more protected! So yes, cleave unto every good thing, but know your enemies. Secret combinations aka gangs, mafia's, what have you, are secret for a reason, and I'm not advocating that you go out and study their practices or live amongst them, or try and get an interview with 'em, but educate yourself enough for the good of others and protection. Should you live your life in a way to steer clear of evil? Absolutely. But don't you have to know what the evil is so you can make a plan to never go near it and overcome it?
I'm glad I went, and I'm glad for a career with continuing education. I will also be glad when my arm is healed and I can type my usual 93 WPM...too.
Our second workshop choice? Mexican Drug Cartels. "What the crap does THAT kind of workshop have to do with being a PE/Health teacher?" is the question I'm sure you're all thinking. Don't worry, I asked the same one. But as I walked out the door of the high school that day, I was almost mad and afraid for those who didn't get to go to it.
After listening to a session led by a member of the LV Drug Force who coulda snapped me in half with his little finger (while successfully wrapping my friend around it in the process), I left the session having seen a beheading, brains on the ground from a shoot out, heads and limbs draped in trees around and on top of an ATM machine, and a number of other shocking images. Granted, they had a full disclosure and warning about such graphic images, but that didn't soften the blow any. How is it that there are 13 drug cartels in CCSD and I was oblivious to it?
On a positive note, I did leave armed with the knowledge that my students who had any John Deer, White Scorpion, or Ferrari symbols on their clothing, body, or cars belonged to one of the 13 drug cartels prominent in Vegas - but it was more unnerving than comforting. I left that session only to have an African American Las Vegas Metro Cop preach/yell in my face about the other gangs in Las Vegas and how his son stabbed his leather couch to death, weaved with more disturbing images like the video from the Columbine shooting and other school shootings, then ending with listening to an eightish year old kid calmly confess to shooting his father to death and that a teacher had shot himself in the head for receiving a bad evaluation just the day before. What was going on?! Then, last but not least, onto the last session to listen to a woman say "bodily opening" and "penetration" repetitvely in a sexual assault class.
Why we didn't go to the dance classes or nutrition for teens is beyond me, but somehow I left glad I hadn't! Call me sick or think what you will, but how many times has ignorance and being oblivious led to terrible things? What bothered me most was how sheltered I felt. I've spent my whole life making fun of Utahrds and dealing with no-brain Molly Mormons who are the epitomy of sheltered. And there I was, a small town Nevadan who served a mission in the murder capitol of the world, feeling exposed to "the real world". It took me a full 32 hours to feel the shock leave my body completely and to realize this hypocrisy and reality. Why do people like parents, the government, even religions, shelter those they are over? Is ignorance really bliss? Then why is knowledge power? Cleave unto every good thing, right? But does that mean you shouldn't be knowledgeable about the world you live in?
Just last week one of the nicest boys in my class was suspended for having gang related material in his backpack, a gang I would've never heard of had I not gone to this workshop. I find the most ignorant people on this planet never watch or read the news or have any idea of what's going on in the world, yet they, whoever "they" is, says that we're better off that way. So does the soceity in the book I'm reading with my freshmen, Fahrenheit 451, a soceity closely modeled after Hitler's Nazi Germany. And look what happened to them.
Yes, I was in shock, and yes, I felt scarred, but what do I feel now? Empowered, and somehow more protected! So yes, cleave unto every good thing, but know your enemies. Secret combinations aka gangs, mafia's, what have you, are secret for a reason, and I'm not advocating that you go out and study their practices or live amongst them, or try and get an interview with 'em, but educate yourself enough for the good of others and protection. Should you live your life in a way to steer clear of evil? Absolutely. But don't you have to know what the evil is so you can make a plan to never go near it and overcome it?
I'm glad I went, and I'm glad for a career with continuing education. I will also be glad when my arm is healed and I can type my usual 93 WPM...too.
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