Hot or Not?

Some recent conversations with my peers and students is my inspiration (or lack thereof?) for my post tonight. The pictures below are a little preview...

    I am the oldest of 7 children. There are five girls and two boys, and the order is girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, girl (<--- the last three we older siblings affectionately dubbed "the three little girls", though the youngest is now 14!). It has always been my belief that my father, if he had the chance, would trade in his girls and have 5 boys and 2 girls instead. This may sound harsh or unbelievable, but give me a paragraph to explain...
    You see, I wasn't raised like your typical girl. I STARTED off "right", taking ballet from pre-school age until about 7-8, played with Barbies (and even made my brother Cameron, who is just younger than me, play along - yeah, I have blackmail evidence of us playing Barbie's together during bathime - though he mostly just chewed the feet off of them....anyway, I digress). My mother sewed me cute litte girls clothes, and I had Rainbow Brite, Jem, pink everything, etc. It wasn't until we moved to Hawthorne that I realized my father started raising me as a boy. I don't know if it was because he now had more girls than boys (I was 8 when we moved, so me, Cameron, Kelsie, Dallin, and Caley were all born), or what, but I started playing Zelda, Sega, N64, etc etc with my Dad, or watching him play. To this day, we own more video games than movies BY FAR, and all 7 of us are "gamers" on some level.     
     I also got heavily involved with sports, starting with basketball and including softball/t-ball, volleyball, soccer, track, etc. I remember many of my Saturdays spent watching European football on DirectTv with my dad, along with 49ers and BYU football, etc. There was always either a sports game, or a video game, on my dad's TV screen. When I wasn't doing school or Church, I was playing a sport, or at a camp, or watching a game. My dad would lecture me for a good hour after each basketball game through my senior year of high school, oh, and every single practice of every sport too...
   We also spent a lot of time camping and doing lots of outdoorsy stuff. To this day I can set up a tent in no time, whip up a fire, etc, and that's not because of Girls Camp. Now, in my mother's defense, I know how to do all the "woman" stuff, like cook, clean, do my hair and nails, etc etc etc. But there is not a crafty/creative bone in my body. I hate the color pink, I 'd rather by shot than have to make a quilt, paint a picture frame, scrapbook, decorate a home, etc. And I LOATHE shopping! I could care less about having twenty different outfits with matching purses, accessories, etc. I think I own 3 pairs of jeans, a handful of shirts and dresses, couple pair of school pants, and maybe ten pairs of shoes. No joke.
    I've come to some realizations about myself because of all of this. One: I'm going to have to marry me a rich man (and I will call him Suga Daddy), and hire an interior decorator. Two: I'm going to have to hire someone to go shopping for me and bring my clothes in on a rack like those rich Housewives of whatevers do. And I'll need a tailor because my body is so weird.
    Number 3 is a matter of confusion for me, and brings me back to my title, Hot or Not? Because I have been an avid gamer my whole life, I find myself talking to a lot of guys about it. In college, I would enter into Halo tournaments and destroy my all-male competition. I remember entering into one at one of my apartment complex's, Carriage Cove. There were 4 TV's, 16 screens, 1 loss elimiation. I kept hearing shouts of "Who's such-and-such? (I can't remember my gamer tag back then)." When it was found out that the GIRL was beating them, there were such howls of protest as I had never heard. I got 2nd, losing to a guy who clearly did nothing but game; such a sweet spirit...
   I also remember my days in the MTC. My favorite time was free time, when we got to go to the gym. At first, I would get on the treadmill or bike or walk around the gym like all of the other Sister's did, but it was KILLING me to watch the Elder's play basketball. Yeah, I was a girl, but I was confident I could whip em. So, I grabbed a few Elder's from my district and dragged them into a game of lightning with me. I don't remember how many people were in the game, but I am pretty sure it was close to fifty. Twenty minutes later it was just me and this big Native American kid left in the game with the rest of the missionaries in the gym surrounded and watching. We were both so tired we were jogging by now, but neither of us was missing. I won about ten minutes later when he bricked the ball and I sank my last free throw. The boys were, once again, howling in protest, but mostly shock.
    I've also had a lot of positive reactions to these sides of me. I've had many guys tell me "that's hot!" when I tell them I'm a gamer chic, or that I LOVE to both play AND watch sports - minus golf and baseball on T.V. - yuck. Lots of Elders at that game were winking at me and seemed totally into me both at the MTC and on the mission. When I played co-ed volleyball at BYU, I got much of the same reactions with guys; heck, we'd even go run and weight lift together.

    I always smile and look bashful when they tell me such things, and sure enough, they invite me over to play Halo or COD or watch a game. But the strange thing has always been, these guys never make a move on me when we play or watch, nor do they pursue me to date. At one point I even bought a shirt (n yeah I still own it) that says "Girls are no substitute for a PlayStation" because it was like I was just one of the guys when we played. So it's hot, but it's like, buddy hot? Hot to watch me, or just the idea is hot? I have yet to have a relationship with a guy based off of these common interests, and it's a phenomenon that I'm hoping I'll get some comments on to help me understand a guy's psyche with. If something a girl does is hot, or you tell me I'm hot, I'm gonna think you're into me in the way that guys and girls are naturally into each other. Yet, no results??
    I don't think I'll always be this way. Even nowadays I don't play much multiplayer on Xbox, and I'm sure once I become a mother and want to nest and such that I'll try my hand at more girly things. I will always like sports and I'm bound and determined to marry a guy I can sit and watch a game with - just be plain competitive with period!! I don't think I could be in a relationship that didn't have that element to it, and making up after "fighting" about a game? Yeah!! I also hope whatever I do, my hubby will definitely dub it "hot", rather than "not". <3