Since my last post, I've had quite a few conversations with other single people like me about dating, the friend zone, and the like. I also happened upon a show on TV that's had me thinking. Thanks to my roommate, I have cable for the first time in all my 29 years of life, and there's a show called "Miss Advised", with a woman who has a list of 100, yes, ONE HUNDRED, requirements she has for her future husband. Re-dic, right? I thought LDS girls were bad until I saw her list. Like any typical LDS girl, we made a list in Church It's 15 years later and mine is in a box somewhere, so I thought I'd draft up another list off the top of my head like I did then...
DREAM HUSBAND LIST:
NON-NEGOTIABLE'S
1. Must be taller than me. Yeah, call me shallow for putting it as #1, but that's been a must since I was taller than every boy from 1st-6th grade and has only been solidified by the fact that I'm still taller than most boys I know. Preferably at least 3 inches so I can still show off my calf muscles with some heels. I'm sorry, but I just can't lean down to kiss someone, unless it's the top of my kid's heads or something.
2. Must be a good driver. Idk why, but nothing irks me more than someone who drives slow or stupidly. Yes, I want you to pass people and not wait behind someone for two miles because you have to exit then. Yes, I'm ok with you going 5-9 miles over the speed limit, even when we're driving our babies around in our non mini-van. Wherever you are, Mr. Hubby, you're going to be stopping at lots of red lights, so going slow will only add to the problem. Do I want an idiot driver? Of course not. Nor do I want someone with bad road rage - see #3. But save it for when you're a grandpa, ok? Alright, stepping off of soap box...
3. Must not have a temper. This is an extremely personal non-negotiable that I'll of course share with the hubs, but suffice it to say I've lived my entire life having to deal with someone with an insanely scary bad temper and it's been detrimental to me and my family. NOT gonna happen for my eternity.
4. Temple wedding/worthy. Does this mean I'm close minded and won't marry someone who's not of my faith? No. But, it would have to happen in this lifetime. I also don't want someone who sort of kind of lives the gospel or pretends to or any of those shenanagans - it'll be apparent by his life and example if it's real or not. It wouldn't hurt if he would one day be an apostle so we can travel the world serving the Lord together. Just sayin'...
5. Honesty and communication. If I look at most people I know that are miserable in their marriage, aside from extremes, most of the cheating/divorcing happens because this component is lacking. I could go on for this for pages, but if I can't trust him and vice versa, and we can't effectively communicate through conversation and expression of feelings without fear of being judged, hated, misunderstood, then what's the point of being together for eternity?
6. He has to be willing to wear a kilt at our wedding reception! If his family wants to too, all the better!
What I'd LIKE/am looking for..(Now THIS I could write a book on, but I'll keep it short tonight.)
1. Sporty. Yes, I'd like some shooters and spikers for kiddos, but I like watching and going to games and I really want to school him 1-1 on the court (Love and Basketball = best movie ever). Am I asking for a Greek god athlete? No, but it'd be nice to play or watch sports with him.
2. Educated. I'll admit it, I get turned on when a guy uses big words or proves knowledgeable in a given field of study/topic. Intelligence has always been attractive to me, and no, that doesn't mean he has to have a Masters and PhD. But I like talkin smart/nerdy - it's hot.
3. Traveler. Plan on doing it for the rest of my life, and I'd like someone to do it with.
4. Easy going. One of my weaknesses is that I'm pretty uptight and I stress so much that it's a detriment to my health. I was raised by Hitler incarnate so I follow rules to the tee and I'm very organized, planned out, and overly responsible. I need someone who will encourage me to let my hair down and help me relax - without being too apathetic.
5. Humor. This is probably on every girl's list in the whole world, but he's gotta be funny and have a great personality. I want to be a complete goof-ball and weirdo with him and make me stop being mad at him because he made me laugh or smile. I don't like mean humor, and sarcastic humor is nice as long as it's not passive aggressive degrading, but the more calories I can burn, the better, and laughing them off is a bonus.
Things I strongly DISLIKE:
1. Guys that talk all about themselves. People have always told me I'm a good listener, and a role I play for many friends is counselor/therapist, but I want it to be even-Steven with m'mate. Do I want him to be girly sensitive or my shrink? No, but I want him to ask about me and my day, what's on my mind, have a genuine interest in me and my well being. And that goes for all things in a relationship - gotta meet halfway.
2. Messiness. If you're gonna be messy, then make enough dough to hire a maid honey. My childhood slave labor/indentured servitude ended the day I turned 18, but now I look at messes and have horrors of having to go back to that. I prefer separate toilets. I know I'm going to have to some cleaning up after him and my kids, but the golden rules of cleaning up after yourself are gonna stay golden in my future fam.
3. Momma's boys. No, I don't want to be compared to your mother my whole life and hear about her cooking and amazing sewing skills and have you on the phone with her all the time, or go cry to her when we fight. As I saw on some stupid thing on facebook, love her as a wife, protect her like a daughter, respect her like your mother. That scripture about leaving the parents and cleaving unto the wife? Importante.
Unfinished, but got out what's on my mind. Does my life revolve around getting married? Eff no!. I've been pursuing my writing journey full force and am finding immense joy in it. But a girl can dream, can't she?
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